There's a moment we all know too well. Dinner is on the table, we are all finally sitting down and before you have had time to pick up a fork, someone starts it. "I don't like this!" Or "Do I have to finish it?"
Those moments knock the wind out of dinnertime and set the evening off to a rough start when all you are looking for are some peaceful moments before the nighttime routines start. It can be a near everyday occurrence at our house. But incredibly, a saw a game a mom shared on Instagram that resonated with me deeply.
It's called "Unfortunately, Fortunately." And it might be an incredibly useful thing to try at your table this week.
So How Does It Work?
The idea is beautifully simple. Us as parents guide the game to begin, but encourage children to come up with their own "Unfortunately" after they get the hang of it. One person starts with an "unfortunately", something hard, inconvenient or just plain unwelcome. The next person has to respond with a "fortunately", finding something genuinely good inside the hard thing.
It sounds like this:
"Unfortunately, it's time to start your homework." "Fortunately, my homework is reading, and I really enjoy reading."
Or, at the dinner table:
"Unfortunately, we're having vegetables tonight." Fortunately, vegetables make me strong enough to beat Dad at arm wrestling."
Or even:
"Unfortunately, it's time to leave your friend's house." "Fortunately, I get to go home and play in the bathtub."
The rule is simple, you have to find something real. It doesn't have to be much, it just has to be honest. It might start as grumpy huffs under heavy breaths, but as we practice it, it rewires our brain to start to look for the good in the bad that happens to us.
Why It Works, Especially at Dinner
There's something about the dinner table that makes this game land differently than it would anywhere else. You're already gathered. You are already face to face. The day is behind you and it can be a moment to connect on a deeper level than you might normally get.
The game works because it turns our thoughts that can so easily stray to the negative to the positive. It allows us to express gratitude in our daily lives. It teaches us to practice something genuinely hard, finding the good in something you didn't choose. It allows us to bring some humor into as well. When kids laugh their way to a "fortunately," they are building a habit of mind that will serve them long after dinner is cleared.
It also levels the playing field in a way that kids love. Parents have to play too. And when Dad says "Unfortunately, I burned the rice" and your seven-year-old shoots back "Fortunately, now its crunchy like ants" that's a dinner time moment nobody forgets.
You don't need any prep. Just try one round before the meal is over. Let it be silly. Let the answers be ridiculous. The point isn't to solve anything, it's to practice looking for the bright side together, out loud, as a family. Some nights it'll turn into a back and forth that outlasts dessert. Other nights it'll be a struggle to get even one exchange in. Both are fine
The Table is Already Set
Here at Dinnertime Meals, we believe the dinner table is one of the most powerful places in a family's life. Not because every meal is perfect, but because it's consistent. You show up. You sit down. You pass the food.
Games like this remind us that what happens around the food often matters just as much as the food itself. And the best part? This one costs nothing, requires nothing, and can start tonight.
Unfortunately, dinner only lasts about twenty minutes
Fortunately, that's plenty of time to start something good.